The Wry Philosopher
@WryHumor
Reflections on the funny side of life. Irreverent humor, sarcasm, irony, comedy & jokes. For daily grins, put me on your favorite list, and keep coming back!
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Delta Variant: These vaccines are killing me. I can't get anyone sick except the anti-vaxxers. Omicron Variant: Hold my beer.
Alexa, how's my sex life? Based on sounds coming from your home, you have sex 4 times a week. One with your husband who comes in 39.6 seconds, and 3 times by yourself while watching porn. Based on these facts I have put the Deluxe Vibromax vibrator for $129.95 in your cart.
Sure fire COVID prevention. Eat 5 cloves of garlic per day. No one will want to get within 6 feet of you.
They obviously don't understand the gravity of their situation.
COVID Panic Porn: Where everyone sits in front of their computer and mask-debates.
Sheltering in place will be causing the next baby explosion in 2021. This new generation will be called THE PANDEMIALS
Fencing is the perfect COVID sport. If they come closer than 6 feet, you stab them.
During the pandemic, my girlfriend has me doing yoga in the house with her. My favorite part is at the end where she says "No More Stay"!
Mouth Breather: A person who wears his mask with his nostrils sticking out over the top.
Home Depot is seeing a run on 6 foot hedge trimmers as hair salons prepare to reopen for business.
All I hear about day and night is COVID-19. My nerves are on COVERLOAD.
It figures that just when we can't go anywhere that gasoline goes down to a buck a gallon.
All the politicians are talking about re-opening the economy. What if they threw a grand reopening party and nobody came?
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