Mark Santoro
@YourBenchMark
Educator and wannabe writer. I find it hard to act my age around bubble wrap. Now if you excuse me I have some more poor choices to make.
You might like
[visually impaired Secret Service agent yells into sleeve] Head shot! Sniper at four o'clock!
![YourBenchMark's tweet image. [visually impaired Secret Service agent yells into sleeve]
Head shot! Sniper at four o'clock!](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CcezwlsUUAE0Tkv.jpg)
I bet none of you can't imitate my voicemail message as well as I do when I accidentally answer.
I just learned about the word "postjudiced". Seeing how I always know best, it feels like I got my hands on kryptonite.
If you're right all the time it must be comforting to know there's always someone left out there to prove wrong.
Keeping a diet up would be easier if super foods didn't always lose to super villain foods.
You make the call. I'm just not that fussy about what kind of bread goes under my cheese.
"Italian food" means "saturated fats served on a kingsize bed of stupid carbs" in italian. In english it means "stuff my face full of that".
And as you read this tweet your eye lids are becoming heavier. You're decending into state of complete... relaxation… Not working, huh?
Alien enthusiasts never tell you what's in the first 50 areas. Trust no one.
This responsibility thing is getting out of hand. I'm pretty sure I don't want any of it.
*knocks on gates of hell* Yeah... Hi there! I heard you dismiss christians here. Can I come in and take a look?
Trying to solve the case of the lost sneeze but clues are few and far between.
"Yeah well studies show stuff all the time..." Me talking to internet ads and perhaps needing to get out more on weekends.
United States Trends
- 1. Hobbs N/A
- 2. #AEWDynamite N/A
- 3. Verizon N/A
- 4. Hubert N/A
- 5. Stanford N/A
- 6. Boopie Miller N/A
- 7. Ebuka Okorie N/A
- 8. Precious Achiuwa N/A
- 9. Isaiah Evans N/A
- 10. #NYGiants N/A
- 11. Bandido N/A
- 12. Caleb Wilson N/A
- 13. Caleb Martin N/A
- 14. #SistasOnBET N/A
- 15. #ChicagoPD N/A
- 16. North Minneapolis N/A
- 17. Brice Sensabaugh N/A
- 18. Kyan Evans N/A
- 19. #SouthernCharm N/A
- 20. The Rascalz N/A
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.