ZzijGod's profile picture. Tandem bicycle farter

off the damn loud and we ain’t finna boo bop

@ZzijGod

Tandem bicycle farter

Pinned

I am across the street in Echo Park naked as the day I was born jacking off while I look in the windows of this coffee shop


I learned Chinese as a bit but it’s lowkey my favorite language now


I’m being persecuted for having too big of a hog and also for having the worst takes imaginable but mostly the hog stuff


I love when a ref or ump looks like they like to bet on sports


Being a girl is crazy because you’ll just be 1 years old, bald headed, and wearing a stunning baptismal gown


Courtside at a WNBA game bein zestier than @KarlTowns to get gay best friend status so I get to go to the locker room at halftime


The Sydney Swyyney fiasco got me and the boys curb stomping each other


My wife is so trad! She’s lost all brain function and is on life support but she keeps popping out babies for my other wife to raise


Blonde women should be shot on sight


What’s another cool thing to throw off bridges? I’m out of car batteries


Indiana has raised the tax on cigarettes I will never financially recover from this


Wage garnishment is the second to last step before finding god and letting the church take care of me financially


People love yelling “Hey! It’sBobwehadababyit’saboy” at me on the street because I’m white


Told my wife I planned on killing myself before year’s end and she started crying? Bitch, it’s cause you don’t support me!


I’m probably the only person you know who is banned from having sex in Wyoming. I can still fuck whatever animals I want in the other 49 tho so I’m gonna be ok


*Slowly advancing to the stage with my walker with the tennis balls on the feet* Throw it back for a yungin one time


Mom says I can’t smoke cigarettes anymore


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