Jethro M. Salazar
@_JSAL
Amateur turtle whisperer. Avid obscure sports enthusiast. Giver of room-temperature takes.
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When they’re ugly
Rihanna is one of the biggest superstars in the world. Has been an A-list celebrity for like 15 years. Performing on the world’s biggest stage. And we all just keep pronouncing her name wrong.
To get a headstart on my New Year's weight loss goals, I bought myself a chocolate cake. The best way to lose weight tomorrow is to gain weight today. My present self is making sacrifices so my future self can succeed.
Baseball Stat of the Day: Mark McGwire is the MLB all-time leader in AB/HR at 10.61. Pete Rose is the all time leader in ABs with 14,053. If McGwire kept his HR rate but had as many ABs as Pete Rose, he would have hit 1,325 HR. Russell Branyan (15.12 AB/HR) would have hit 929.
A chess metaphor to explain today’s US World Cup game from someone that doesn’t know much about soccer or chess: US played a decent mid-game and had the opposing king in check a lot, but no finishing skills to trap him. Then they were checkmated by moves they never saw coming.
Imagine your whole life leading up to this moment. Scoring a goal in the World Cup to give your team the lead in a must-win game. And one split second later taking a shot directly to the nuts. Life is full of highs and lows.
Pregame prediction: if the Celtics hold the Warriors to less points than they score themselves, they will win this game. My advice: they should try really hard to do that. Alternate strategy: they should try to score more points than the Warriors. #sports
The guys on the bridge team were making a lot of shots at first. Especially that number 30 guy. Then they stopped and the green team started making way more shots. I’m guessing number 42 on the green team is the best player in the league. Leprechauns > Bridges. #NBAFinals2022
I ate a bunch of #fruitypebbles yesterday and now my poops are as green as the grass at #Augusta. #LetsGoTiger #TheMasters
In an alternate universe where Will Smith doesn’t slap Chris Rock: Somebody: Remember that joke Chris Rock told about Jada Pinkett Smith last night? Everybody else in the world: No. But I was happy to hear Will Smith won best actor. He’s the best. Especially in Wild Wild West.
I’ve thought about it. I don’t agree with violence, but I do believe in forgiveness. I also believe in consequences. For punishment, The Academy should take away the Oscar Will Smith won last night, and retroactively give him one for his performance in Wild Wild West instead.
Three songs that will spontaneously pop into my head without provocation: Yellow Submarine - The Beatles Iron Man - Black Sabbath My President - Jeezy
I once struck out on two pitches. True story. That’s it. That’s the tweet.
Just remembered that I bought four boxes of girl scout cookies today. Let’s party.
If I was a HOF voter, my criteria would be simple. Were they ever “that dude” and if so, were they consistently “that dude” for a long enough portion of their career.
Whatever happened to outtie belly buttons? I feel like they went out of style after the 90s. They were hot in the streets for a bit and now you just don’t see them anymore.
With the cold weather, it looks like all of the players are smoking. I know they aren’t, but would a child watching this game know? Are the @NFL and @CBS trying to make smoking look, no pun intended, “cool” to children? Something needs to be done about this.
When I was a kid I used to collect the state quarters thinking a full set would make me rich one day. I gave up after about 35 states. Not sure what happened to those quarters. I’d like my $8.75 back.
United States Trends
- 1. Good Thursday N/A
- 2. Happy Friday Eve N/A
- 3. #JUNGKOOKxHUBLOT N/A
- 4. #thursdayvibes N/A
- 5. #LittleMissDramaTour N/A
- 6. Jesus is King N/A
- 7. Vote YES N/A
- 8. Vulcan N/A
- 9. Baal N/A
- 10. Imran Khan N/A
- 11. The Dow N/A
- 12. Highguard N/A
- 13. Leon Black N/A
- 14. The French N/A
- 15. Cam Thomas N/A
- 16. Culver City N/A
- 17. Ange N/A
- 18. Harder N/A
- 19. Birth Certificate N/A
- 20. Ron Paul N/A
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