✨Jess
@_JessicaMurphy
Appreciates the finer things in life; a good beard, even numbers and perky glutes
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Irish Justice Department: Make revenge porn a criminal offence in Ireland - Sign the Petition! chng.it/FVGFRnfh via @Change
nobody: the druids in Newgrange on December 21st:
this morning I got a drink from 7/11, and the cashier said “you could get two more if you wanted”, and so I got two more because I thought she meant there was a promo. but there wasn’t a promo, I just paid full price for three of the same drink. why did she do this?
I saw a girl on tiktok say that she didn’t buy anyone presents this year but instead just bought herself all the things she wanted and— that makes so much more sense
Don’t forget that tonight is the night the clocks go back at 2am. You know what that means x
Made a really scary jack-o-lantern this year.
I believe the main difference is that one will see you later and the other will see you in awhile. I could be wrong, I'm not a zoologist.
Unfair that Monday is right after Sunday when Sunday is the best day of the week for drinking a fucking rake of pints
Very sad Danica isn’t in the final. Her letter would begin with “To whom it may concern” and end with “Kind regards” #LoveIsland
Curtis finally being able to rest, knowing that Ekin-su will ensure everyone’s ready for the morning #LoveIsland
The oranges in my fridge watching me take out yet another Kit Kat Chunky for dessert
Get your fucking ass up and bring me back a wee surprise from the shop. Seems like no one wants to bring me back a wee surprise from the shop these days.
ensuring that future generations see moments of great historical importance
I shit you not a woman is watching Shrek next me on the tube loudly from her phone and I looked over at it and she turned her phone so I could also watch Shrek
There’s a 6 year old child on the top deck of this bus deciding whether or not people can come up the stairs or not. He said no to me first but I said please and I am delighted to say I am on the top deck of the bus now.
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