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you have to let yourself be a weird woman or you will not survive
The love of your life is up your butt and around the corner
i almost bought this chihuahua lamp and thank god i checked the reviews cos what the hell is this 😭
you can tell a person’s in a very dark place when a fortune cookie means a lot to them
You’re in his DMs and I’m freebleeding in his highschool gym shorts
Farting so fucking hard I get brain bramage
something very chic about crying while driving….have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash….other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over….
sometimes i wonder if my ex best friend still creeps on me and if so : hey girl !! 👋
i told my bf that if i could i would lock him in a cage with a blanket on top and give him cigarettes and taco bell. but if he complained too much about the cage he lost his cigarette privileges for the day. he looked so genuinely afraid of me LOL
coworker is playing a xiu xiu erasure cover and i feel like im having a stroke
ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted to smoke cigarettes
drinking wine on my pretty couch in my new cute apartment and thinking about how i screamed and begged and cried so hard i threw up for the life i have
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