You might like
Here’s what it really represents: 47th in education 45th in healthcare 44th in median household income 43rd in life expectancy 1st in incarceration rate 2nd in teen pregnancy 3rd in reliance on federal aid So yeah — God bless Oklahoma. Y’all need it.
i don’t remember this strategy in my marketing classes but fuck yeah
Shoplifter at Smith’s runs out the doors, alarm goes off, crashes into me and falls and gets caught by asset protection and taken away I get home, crazy dude outside waves at me.. Me: “Have good night man!“ Him: “I don’t make fast friends - I’ll fuckin kill you” 10/10 evening
fuck, I put the nuggets (vegan) in the oven and I forgot to set the timer that was yesterday tho so the apartment complex can deal with the consequences whoops
My Uber driver just casually told me he’s murdered 3 people. “Mawfuckas trying to break in while my kids are watching a movie downstairs so I piled ‘em up” We stopped for gas and he bought me a Gatorade though - 5 stars.
submitted my résumé to Spirit Halloween and got an interview wtf do I wear
7 hours in Tulum, Mexico and have already paid la policía 4000 pesos to not go to jail But the tacos are great so it’s okay
Is tonight the night where I play “Twitter draft roulette” and just randomly start firing off some absurd shit that will probably ensure I’m never elected as a government official
Do all animals go to heaven or does god draw a line somewhere? If I get up there and get stung by a bunch of fuckin bees I’m gonna be pissed Jk I’m going to hell I’ll see you guys on the lakes of lava
My Mormon coworkers were talking to each other about the upcoming reboot of ‘The Passion of the Christ’ movie and I said “don’t you mean the resurrection” and they just looked at me with disdain. Lighten up you fuckin’ idiots.
New water sport - Mark Zuckerboarding
Mark Zuckerberg is having a hell of a time celebrating 4th of July 🇺🇸
Gulf of Mexico: “hey our ocean is literally on fire” Caspian Sea: “hold my beer”
WATCH: Large explosion reported near oil platform in the Caspian Sea; officials say it may have been caused by a mud volcano
Unbelievable. They have the audacity to host some random ‘artist’ called “REZZ” twice, but cancel the Kidz Bop World Tour? Very displeased - I will be looking at other venues from here on out. @RedRocksCO
had a dream last night I met some aliens who told me the reason why we are here but I forgot to bring a pen and couldn’t write it down and forgot, sorry guys.
United States Trends
- 1. The Jito 171 B posts
- 2. FINALLY DID IT 413 B posts
- 3. Scott Adams 11,9 B posts
- 4. ARLINGTON 3.805 posts
- 5. #BTSComeback2026 182 B posts
- 6. #BTSTour2026 11,4 B posts
- 7. The Jupiter 9.356 posts
- 8. HELP IS ON ITS WAY 12,6 B posts
- 9. BTS WORLD TOUR IS COMING 131 B posts
- 10. BTS COMEBACK IS COMING 138 B posts
- 11. Good Tuesday 41,2 B posts
- 12. Tomlin 51,6 B posts
- 13. METLIFE N/A
- 14. El Paso 83 B posts
- 15. #gachiakuta161 N/A
- 16. Taco Tuesday 13 B posts
- 17. #csm226 N/A
- 18. Core CPI 4.860 posts
- 19. #IranMassacre 156 B posts
- 20. Weverse 237 B posts
Something went wrong.
Something went wrong.