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Walked past guy sprawled in a folding lawn chair on the sidewalk and he was like weird little voice “what’s cooking… bitch”
You have received a virtual gift for your 20 anniversary in LiveJournal
Software developers are constantly making new todo list apps because no one can think of anything good to do with a computer
Meant to say howdy but i was surprised so it came out as just “how”
Mistapped a couple times and accidentally looked up the word “normal” in phone’s built-in dictionary
Meant “i don’t have socks on” but thought “i’m wearing bare feet”
Man enthusiastically hugging his dog outside of what used to be the occult bookstore
While lying on the floor wondered what the pinprick of pain in my arm was, looked over and saw that the aloe plant was gently touching me
Briefly thought that if i lit incense i wouldn’t be able to hear the neighbors
Every day i walk past the spot where i got yelled at for trying to draw a pentagram in wet cement
Keep honking at me in the crosswalk it only makes me walk slower
Lightning bug fluoresced in front of me and i thought yeah man put on a show
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