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I’ve recently switched from a regular to an electric toothbrush. Just doing my part for the planet.
Love all the comedy clubs saving 30% of average costs with all female line ups tonight.
I’m a grown man. I’ll eat pancakes whenever the fuck I want.
And so the pack of cookies that were meant to last a whole week, have in the end, lasted only minutes.
If Native Americans had to wake early for a hunt or to raid another tribe, they would drink lots of water before going to sleep, using their bladder as a natural alarm clock. I do something similar with Chinese Takeaway and my bowels. They call me Chief Shitting Bull.
My dealer offered me rhino K the other day. Apparently he thinks horses aren’t big enough. I said come back when you have that Lizzo K.
Think it’s mad how @ladbible has turned into a genuine news outlet. While deriving its name from two of the biggest sources of bullshit. Lads and the Bible.
People talk about punching up and punching down in comedy. Essentially, you shouldn’t make fun of a group that’s less privileged than you. What about Al-Queda? A bunch a hairy virgins living in cave? Wouldn’t call that punching up. Unless they were in one of the planes.
Luke Littler is 16 years old, has a 21 year old girlfriend and just won £100,000. Just goes to show the double standard. If he was a woman he’d only have won 70% of that.
Did a Christmas gig in a football club. They had the TV on showing Luke Littler in the darts while I was on stage. It really reminded me of my 18th birthday. Sympathetic friends and family shoved into a football club while half the lads were more focused on a 16 year old.
I love comedy. My favourite comedy is relatable stuff. I also love music. My favourite rap group is N.W.A. But I wouldn’t say I’ve got much attitude.
I’m all for a love story but this is just sappy.
Nothing like a nice pint of Guinness after long hard week drinking pints of Guinness. Happy Easter everyone!
Then I like to write down 3 things I’m grateful for. Scream pillow usually tops the list.
My morning routine is pretty simple. Wake up. Make a coffee. Put on some music. Scream into a pillow for 45 minutes.
My morning routine is pretty simple. Wake up. Make a coffee. Put on some music. Scream into a pillow for 45 minutes.
Some people like getting a seat on the DART. Not me. I’m all about standing in the corner by the window. Physically, it’s almost as comfortable as a seat without the social discomfort of having to give it up if an old persons gets on.
United States Trends
- 1. Jesse Jackson N/A
- 2. Happy Lunar New Year N/A
- 3. hobi N/A
- 4. Colbert N/A
- 5. Hannah Montana N/A
- 6. Gina N/A
- 7. Sonnet 4.6 N/A
- 8. Ronda N/A
- 9. Rush N/A
- 10. Talarico N/A
- 11. Fat Tuesday N/A
- 12. Ramadan N/A
- 13. Tricia McLaughlin N/A
- 14. Mardi Gras N/A
- 15. Year of the Horse N/A
- 16. Shia LaBeouf N/A
- 17. Rev. Jackson N/A
- 18. Tony Clark N/A
- 19. Lent N/A
- 20. Benfica N/A
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