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Audrey

@aud_futuree

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It hurts so bad it eventually goes numb


One month difference and I’m throwing up and crying

aud_futuree's tweet image. One month difference and I’m throwing up and crying
aud_futuree's tweet image. One month difference and I’m throwing up and crying

Colter got a big boy high chair and I’m throwing up. Next he’ll be doing his taxes.

aud_futuree's tweet image. Colter got a big boy high chair and I’m throwing up. Next he’ll be doing his taxes.

Alcohol just doesn’t do anything for me anymore. Three twisted teas and mamaw is ready to put her moo moo and slippers on and call it an evening.


Not to jinx it, but Colter’s been napping for two hours and usually he naps for like a long blink so this is great…. Slept through the dogs barking, me dropping an entire iced coffee, and me saying every profanity known to man. I like today.


Never knew what pure joy was until my son started smiling at me in the morning when he saw me. 🥲


Me lmaooooo

i kinda like people who trauma dump idk. idc if i just met u 30 mins ago tell me why ur mom lost custody of u i’m curious



Finally worked to the nerve to watch a video of a csection…. They mf violated my ass 😂🥲


Colter slept from 8 pm to 2:30 am and I’m so excited about it and haven’t slept that long consecutively in awhile that I can’t go back to sleep. Nice!


Audrey hat repostet

the feminine urge to say “liar” everytime a man speaks


I feel worse than a man with a cold so you know it’s bad


If I were to download BeReal at this stage in my life every single picture would be me holding my infant and him crying and me crying back


The chick sent me $30 back instead of $35…. I’m baffled but I guess grateful?

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No way my dog was just barking in the backyard and I heard my neighbor yell “Snow, stop it!” I’ve never met this neighbor. 😂


Colter officially fit into a 0-3 month outfit today and now I’m emotional


Audrey hat repostet

hmu for promo right now

tristehomo's tweet image. hmu for promo right now

Bork bork I hold baby

aud_futuree's tweet image. Bork bork I hold baby
aud_futuree's tweet image. Bork bork I hold baby

Why do people argue breastfed vs formula fed? Your little blessing is still going to pick up a rock at the park and try to eat it here in 3 years


The dogs wanna sniff the baby until he starts crying.. then they run away? Like why aren’t you guys picking him up? Changing him? Rocking him? Do your mf part


Who let me have a full ass kid? I am a 12 years old


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