billdawes's profile picture. shows and stuff 📺 BJJ Black Belt 🥋 Princeton Cum Laude 📜 3x Broadway vet 🎭dad

Bill Dawes

@billdawes

shows and stuff 📺 BJJ Black Belt 🥋 Princeton Cum Laude 📜 3x Broadway vet 🎭dad

Finally realized that the movie the matrix was just about a man who deactivated his social media.


Didn’t have Michelle Obama being the most annoying person of 2025 on my bingo card. 🤦‍♂️ #obama #michelleobama


Don’t understand why women get offended if I ask if they are transgender— I’m just saying they’re tall and good looking. 🤷‍♂️


Hey @StephenKing “The Long Walk” makes no sense. Also, nobody can walk over 200 miles without stopping. It’s 3 people who win and it ends at 150 miles. Fixed it for you.


Seeing commercials makes me feel poor. 😔


I don’t care who you are, the joke @jimmykimmel made that Trump believes the 4th stage of grief is “construction” is genius.


Let me get this straight — there’s a pill that you can take that will help you with the depression caused by taking an anti-depression pill? That’s like taking a Boner pill that helps you get boners when the Boner pill you’re taking is preventing you from getting boners. Wtf?!


When did Denzel Washington’s acting become all about moving props around?


MOVIE PITCH: Reimagining of “Thelma & Louise” but with @JussieSmollett and #willsmith. After escaping incredibly abusive relationships with themselves, they meet up, do some cross country hijinks, and fall in love. But instead of the tragic ending where Thelma and Louise…


Used to think @JussieSmollett was guilty, but after seeing the documentary “The Truth about Jussie Smollett,” I REALIZE he’s ALSO a disgusting piece of shiiiiiit. 😊👍🏻 If you’re dumb enough to believe #JussieSmollett or what this “documentary” posits, you really need to stick to…


“Hey, can you throw away all this paper for me?” — every pharmacist ever


Hey Chat, how do I make my brain work at 1.2 speed?


Voice to text can suck a duck.


I can’t get that new Will Smith song “I Like Pretty Girls” out of my head said no one ever.


Bill Dawes reposted

We are back w/ an Epic @MMARoasted w/ @JessicaPenne @billdawes Enjoy and Sub. open.spotify.com/episode/4HPCDX…


HEY GUYS, BELIEVE ALL WOMEN!!! (except when they say they’re “on the pill” or “infertile.”)


Kevin Durant at the end of episode two in court of Gold is the most oh my God thank you oh my God thank you thank you God thank you now I have faith in humanity again thank you Kevin Durant. Most moving thing you will see on the screen. #kevindurant @KDTrey5


Please please please please please Hollywood quit trying to get me to believe that Maggie Q is a good actress. I’m begging you please. Don’t make me give up all faith in humanity.


Hunter Biden is the Hunter Biden of our time.


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