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For anyone wondering this right now: YES, even a few months past the expiration date, imitation crab is perfectly fine to eat.
Just came out with a video about that thing that's happening. youtu.be/-wD7OCJl6n8 #coronavirus
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Counting Your Rations | Corona Virus EP1
Started doing videos again. This one's about how I almost died youtu.be/k1IEiLcUd30 instagram.com/p/B9nZ3Y1lRWs/…
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YouTube
I Almost Died (For Real)
Suddenly finding myself COMPLETELY out of Campari! So, like...what? Am I just supposed to mix Fernet Branca with Cherry Heering and Aperol and pretend like that's okay? Cause it's not (even though that's still kind of a fun drink) #mondays #campari
Oh no, I'm terribly sorry. This isn't the kind of dog you pet. This is the kind of dog that likes it when you spit in their mouth. #DogsofTwittter
Is it just me or does carrot juice taste kind of like milk? But like if milk was orange, but not in a pumpkin way.
Is there a cocktail that's traditionally served with a small stone that's very easy to swallow by accident? #cocktails #StoneChoking
Just watched Shazam! and since the movie I saw before this was The Irishman, I naturally have to compare the two. And I've gotta say Shazam! was vastly superior in every possible way. It has everything you'd want in a film (unless all you want is sad old men being boring).
I've had my chicken drumsticks and half a bottle-woth of boxed red wine. Time to get balls deep into The Irishman!
The average adult male gets approximately 4 hours of sleep a night, which is split into 30 minute segments that begin at around the 10 minute mark of each Star Trek episode. #sleep #StarTrek
So, when your friend is eating a huge amount of pasta straight out of the pot and saying "I hate myself" with every single bite, things means that...
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So maybe this Christmas you didn't get everything you wanted and you also had really bad diarrhea, but in some places in the world there are children who'd feel lucky just to get YOUR diarrhea instead of the other diarrhea they already might have. Merry Christmas! #Christmas2019
There's a niche of psychological thrillers that start with people that randomly wake up not knowing who they are or how they got there. And, personally I feel like that would be pretty sweet. #lifegoals
Does anyone else brush their teeth before they make a phone call? That's normal, right?
Two large bones jump out of your body. It doesn't hurt., you're somehow not in need of medical assistance. Then they grow mouths and tongues and start licking and sucking on each other. What's the first thing you ask them?
I want to make a movie about a guy that sneaks wealthy people into Buckingham palace at night so they can drink out of the Queen's toilet. Sometimes he does it for free because he likes to watch them and jerk off. #relatablecharacters
The video game of my European adventures with random locals telling me what to do: Them: So I want you to go to this restaurant. Me: What do I do when I get there? Them: Eat some food. Have a beer. Let me know what you think. Me: You picked the right man for this mission.
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