brocode's profile picture. I’m Awesome

Barney Stinson

@brocode

I’m Awesome

Forget every other rule I've ever stated because every other rule I've ever stated is old and I have only one rule: New is always better.


A riddle to start this Easter Sunday. What lightweight outfit pink or white Makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?


I am not Canadian. How do I know? Because I am not terrible. bit.ly/rJimQd


a Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date #lemonlaw


When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. true story. http://bit.ly/fWVBI6


#prestripclubchecklist read in-depth synopsis of movie girlfriend thinks you’re going to see


#prestripclubchecklist turn off heat/AC in apartment, saving both utility costs and the environment


#prestripclubchecklist pledge to avoid dancers with names like Smokey, Hepatitia, and Thunder


#prestripclubchecklist plant fake “movie producer” business cards on self where they might “accidentally” fall out in2 cleavage of dancer(s)


#prestripclubchecklist Hide ATM and credit cards deep in wallet yet still accessible in case of rare “twins” scenario


#prestripclubchecklist convert sufficient funds to singles in the local currency


How a groom sends his Bros out with a bang…bridemaids. Squeezed into ugly identical dresses, bridemaids have one goal…to get out of them.


check out some of my notes from Robin 101: http://is.gd/418bP


why girls must wear jeans to a strip club http://is.gd/3NbpO


Hai-five-ku: one two three four five, raise each one high in the air, smack and release…Bro #broetrycorner


wingwoman - a female wingman who is also a chick. #broglossary


rack jack - to steal a wingman’s quarry, often with malicious, premeditated intent. #broglossary


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