Bubator
@bubator
Professionally I make people grow impatient with me. Hobbies include trying to get abducted by aliens. http://favstar.fm/users/bubator
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Instead of inventing cars that we can fly we should invent pets that we can fly on the backs of.
What will your 40's be like? It will be like your asshole died but you kept living.
Jerk off before you buy a car. Don't be the guy in the iroc z making full ball decisions
People with pink leopard skin shirts and black spandex leotards shouldn't be allowed to hold babies
Twitter needs a "Hate" button because having no favorites or retweets just doesn't feel shitty enough.
I'm thinking of trying this Christian thing out on the contingency that my children are considered a luxury and I can give them up on lent
To do list 1)Feed an alcoholic red beets 2)Wait for the "I think I'm shitting blood" phone call 3)Tell them it's probably cirrhosis 4)Laugh
Secret and secrete are way to close in spelling so when you write "I have a dirty secrete" you've turned interesting into gross.
If you watch Led Zeppelin's "Live at Royal Albert Hall" you'll realize Robert Plant invented yoga pants
Ever listen to more interesting conversations around you while in a boring conversation with someone else?
Wanna see less homeless people? Give them laptops. Then they'll just look eccentric entrepreneurs
Is it offensive to talk about extreme weight loss in front of amputees?
If you want to deter your friends from hitting on your girlfriend, give her the nickname "Rat Snatch"
United States Trends
- 1. Staged N/A
- 2. Belichick N/A
- 3. Nebraska N/A
- 4. Michigan N/A
- 5. Bill Polian N/A
- 6. #WWENXT N/A
- 7. Hall of Fame N/A
- 8. Ilhan Omar N/A
- 9. #WonderMan N/A
- 10. Palat N/A
- 11. Paul George N/A
- 12. Brady N/A
- 13. #iubb N/A
- 14. #DelcyLaVozDeLaPaz N/A
- 15. Rutgers N/A
- 16. Jared McCain N/A
- 17. Steve Perry N/A
- 18. J Cole N/A
- 19. Spygate N/A
- 20. Tillis N/A
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