carsonface's profile picture. the best lines never leave your lungs

Carson Mitchell

@carsonface

the best lines never leave your lungs

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Coors Original is the Banquet Beer, guys. @finebaum


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We're forming a search party led by 'Inspector Swagu' @mspear96 to track down one of our best callers #FindCharles

finebaum's tweet image. We're forming a search party led by 'Inspector Swagu' @mspear96 to track down one of our best callers #FindCharles
finebaum's tweet image. We're forming a search party led by 'Inspector Swagu' @mspear96 to track down one of our best callers #FindCharles

Always hungry at the doctors office


It's not a real sinus infection unless you have important shit to do.


The difference in being "over it" and "being over it."


Is it cool if I follow your #mom on #Instagram?


Omg that dress is so pretty #GoldenGlobes


The Supremes are better than your favorite band.


not tryin to flirt, just tryin to forget


Exs are like the sea. They are full of shit.


Man, whoeva dat Paul Mkartny dude is, Kanye da man! shit is hype


When you see red flags, get the fuck out of dodge before the narrative turns against you. #lifelessons


My 2014 was defined by someone who will barely speak to me now


Not something magical, just something practical


Sometimes it feels like there is not enough whiskey in the world


You know you love the #SEC if you are having to root for South Carolina


Nothing more charming than a girl who tells you to shutup and fuck off everyday of your relationship


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