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aw, i have three major historical events occurring during the prime of my life and no money. why can’t i have no major historical events occurring during the prime of my life and three money?
You get in relationships to LEARN how to love each other, you're not suppose to automatically know. People assume this and are too quick to break up
The anxious urge to say "no worries either way" when you are actually worrying both ways plus a secret third way
can’t believe wearing masks when we walked in and then taking them off when we sat down didn’t work
did it hurt? when you realized you had to learn to read other people's behavior as a social survival skill, but now you over-think every interaction
“millennials waste their money” bro i just tipped the waiter that you underpay
Dentist said i grind in my sleep i said bitch i know 💯💰📠
The older I get. The calmer I get. Because in reality none of this shit really matters.
me staring at the moon while i’m driving about to crash
People who are like 29 will tell me it’s too late for them. I was basically in bed til I was 33. I didn’t even start KINDA figuring life out til 2 mins ago & I’m 35. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ll be okay. The world will kill us all but it’s not too late for you personally.
Because of my job, I’m speaking to a lot of people opposed to vaccination requirements at work. One argument I hear is, well, vaccinated people can get COVID too. Statistically, that’s like saying sober people get in car accidents too, so there’s nothing wrong if I drive drunk.
me: god, why must you give me your hardest battles god: i don't. you are my weakest soldier and these battles are so easy. it's an email why are you crying
Starting a job feels like you’re a new character on the ninth season of a tv show.
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