C. J. deVries
@cjdevrieswrites
Writer. Mom to an aspiring antagonist and a sleepy piece of stardust. ENT/FP, ♌️ , Enneagram 6. Bi wife energy. She/Her.
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Taking my (almost) 5yo to school. 5: Uhhhhh, mom. Is your car a garbage can? Me: What?!? Of course not! 5: Oh. Well then why is there *pause*. tRaSh all over it? Damn, kid. Half of it is your old snack wrappers, but go off. 🤦🏻♀️
Sister & (almost) 5yo playing Mario Kart. Sis: wooo! Slay queen! You got this. 5: Uh, no. I am NOT the queen. Sis: What? Why? 5: The queen is dead. And I am winning. 🔥 🔥 🔥
Me, talking to my sister: Poor kiddo. I think she has a stomach bug. 4 year old, from her convalescent state on the couch: Mom, I would NEVER eat a BUG! 🤢
Pumpkin carving thoughts from a 4 year old. Dad! You stabbed her with a sword! See her eyes, they’re filled with blood and tears. Her beautiful face!! 😞 She’s DEAD!? She’s very pretty, but also sad. Meet Rosie Posie Pumpkin:
My 4 year old has decided to start calling me “mother”. Additionally, she likes to pretend we are all woodland creatures. This inevitably leads to her shouting MOTHER FOX at the top of her lungs at any random point of the day. 🦊
4 year old, unprompted: This is how it goes. *snap* Egg *snap* Caterpillar *snap* Chrysalis *snap* Butterfly *snap* Death Happy Spooky Season! 💀
I have Fall Energy. It’s like New Relationship Energy, except I want the season to scoop me up in its arms and run away with me.
One part of growing up as white evangelical woman I don’t quite think gets enough air time is being raised to be arrogant. It fits weirdly with a lot of gender issues in the church, which might not be why we talk about it. On one hand, girls and women are raised with a sense
4 yo: Me and god are gonna kill all the mosquitoes. First, we slap them. Next, throw them in the garbage can. Then put the bag in the dumpster. And the garbage truck can take them away FOREVER. Any city planners looking for pest control ideas?
Shoes broke. Like, beyond repair. So I’m just sitting here in the airport in my sock feet. How’s your day going?
Once upon a time, a writing witch @BiancaM_author matched up four unsuspecting writers for a critique group. This weekend, they met in person for the first time at @SFWC and knew their connection was nothing short of magic. Thank you, Bianca! ❤️❤️❤️
At the San Francisco Writers Conference!! #SFWC22 So excited to dive in this weekend. ❤️ @AskJoeyGarcia
Listening to a top 100 2000s playlist cause *nostalgia dance party* 4yo: Mommy, I like this song! I want it in my bedtime music. You too can add I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas to your lullaby playlist. 👍🏻
I’m all about that bass. And by that, I mean I turn it up so loud in my car my rib cage vibrates. Oh, and I also like butts. 🍑
Being bi means questioning every new attraction with “is this a friend crush or a crush crush?” And the answer being the inevitable: “It’s probably (?!?) both? I think?”
Do you ever find yourself in the mood to make some seriously bad life choices?
There is a young junior high girl seated next to me and reading as I edit. She thinks she’s being discreet, and it’s really very endearing.
Me, on a train. « Oh, we’re coming up to a train crossing. The bars are down! Lights flashing!! Where’s the train?!? What if we get hit?? » I’m surprised I let myself out of the house sometimes.
United States Trends
- 1. Notre Dame N/A
- 2. Rivers N/A
- 3. Lobo N/A
- 4. Ryan Wedding N/A
- 5. Blades Brown N/A
- 6. #TALON N/A
- 7. Jassi N/A
- 8. March for Life N/A
- 9. #FursuitFriday N/A
- 10. benson boone N/A
- 11. #RepublicanHealthcareDisaster N/A
- 12. Marc Anthony N/A
- 13. Deion N/A
- 14. Cameron Smotherman N/A
- 15. Bricillo N/A
- 16. #Supergirl N/A
- 17. Jeff Saturday N/A
- 18. Afghanistan N/A
- 19. Nate Oats N/A
- 20. Jim Jones N/A
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