cmorrison67's profile picture. It’s me, Carlos Mencia

Carlos M

@cmorrison67

It’s me, Carlos Mencia

Pinned

Wait, God is dead? Man, I feel old.


Avocado seeds, nature’s testicles!


The liberals want to destroy this small business owner

cmorrison67's tweet image. The liberals want to destroy this small business owner

Throwing my head back, tossing a handful of chocolate chips in my mouth like a pill popper. Staring at my own reflection. I don’t recognize myself anymore.


It was a dark and stormy night, so I took some melatonin and got a good nights rest


You’d think the patrons at BookPeople would be able to read “compact cars only” yet I find myself wedged between a Lincoln Navigator and the Christopher Nolan Batmobile


Damn, a necklace is really just a lace for your neck. I get it now.


The customer is always omniscient


The secret to a happy life is avoiding doing things that suck


A work/life balance implies that work is death.


Just saw a guy in airport security take off his flip flops, walk with his disgusting bare feet 🦶 to a recycling bin, pull down his mask, and spit tobacco juice into the recycling bin. Yum.


Nothing good has happened since sliced bread


Idk what HIPAA is but apparently it’s hilarious


Carlos M reposted

“Rules are rules” they told sha’carri

BenjaminPDixon's tweet image. “Rules are rules” they told sha’carri

You’d think with all that money Jeff Bezos would get his fucked up face fixed. Jesus…


I’ve had two therapists in my life and they both “moved”


I heard it was bad if your piss looks like Coke but no word yet on Baja blast


Not many people know this about me but I’m actually a professional golfer and a liar. you stupid idiot I’ve never golfed in my life


Did you know Sir Isaac Newton went by his middle name? His real first name was fig


Carlos M reposted

You know u smoke too much weed when u forgot to smoke weed


Loading...

Something went wrong.


Something went wrong.