crazy_ames's profile picture. they call me crazy, allow me to amaze thee

ames

@crazy_ames

they call me crazy, allow me to amaze thee

it would really make me happy if i saw a moose in real life


wow @billburr your new special is top notch 👏🏼


i’ve been watching enough @MINDHUNTER_ to know the guy that just sat next to me on the beach has at least 10 heads in his freezer


accidentally ordered boxes of decaf coffee for our sales meeting, but labeled it caffeinated. so far nobody has noticed...


are there still milkmen? it’d be nice to get a weekly delivery of farm fresh milk in a glass jug


my cat is clearly not impressed with my life choices.


i ruin at least 4 articles of clothing a month due to hot sauce spillage


two really cool things happened tonight: 1) discovered the McDonald’s down the street from our house is 24hrs 2) ate an entire bag of chips in bed without waking up bill What a time to be alive.


knees are weird looking


they want a piece of me, i ain’t the one serving slices


every now and then...have yourself a day 😎


i've had an ice cream sundae 6 nights in a row and i don't plan on stopping anytime soon


i know you frown upon gambling, but please God let me hit this trifecta @saratogatrack


can you get in trouble for being drunk at work from the night before? (asking for a friend)


there's never enough cheese in my handi-snacks. @Ritzcrackers are you able to help me with this?


96% sure i was just in a different demension. like I'm not even sure this tweet is going to make the real twitter....


i eat pizza roughly 5 out of 7 days of the week


i know you don't expect me to sell no peanuts out this, bitch


here comes the hotstepper


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