cslaake's profile picture. Better to rule in Hell, than serve in Heaven

Christopher Laake

@cslaake

Better to rule in Hell, than serve in Heaven

I’m never spending a day at the zoo with three toddlers ever again.


The fabric of reality is chafing again.


“You can’t live on one meal a day.” Fucking watch me.


I find it disrespectful when family members ask me, “Why are you like this?” Bitch, you had front row seats this disaster from day one! Maybe pay attention? It’s not my fault you’re lost in the third act motherfucker.


Pretty weird when characters in a book spend time in the city where you currently live, and then travel to your hometown.


Butterflies. Supernovae. Gore.


Wait, so this company bowling party tomorrow is mandatory? Christ.


Someone is losing their job on Monday when their boss gets the bill for dispatching an after hours team to Boulder to clean up a coffee spill that would have taken them less than 5 minutes to clean. You wasted a minimum of $2000.


I should probably have at least one day off after working 18 days straight, but America or something stupid.


Please don’t ever put a Wham! song in a Star Trek episode, ever again.


Go ahead and laugh, but my underground spider fighting ring will be a huge hit.


How could I say no to a free concert at Red Rocks tonight?


I’m not sure if playing never have I ever with Gollum constitutes a nightmare or not.


You’re not learning how to drive a manual transmission in my car.


I better not get stuck at the airport on Friday like last time.


You obtuse piece of flotsam.


I wish it was 100 degrees everyday.


I don’t care what anyone says, 85-90 degrees is ideal.


Is anyone else noticing people just quietly disappearing?


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