sorry bro, i'm still too hungover from happy hondadays, no way i could make it to toyotathon
Just tried alcohol for the first time and I’m feeling so confident and extroverted. I think I should do this every day for the rest of my life
I have no idea what is in a rum and coke but they are pretty tasty
this is me btw. when you're being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to.
people in front of you in line love being like, “and what is a ‘bagel?’”
my biggest financial mistake was being in 8th grade in 2009 when I should’ve been buying foreclosed real estate
Idk what’s more embarrassing, your employer finding your social media and seeing posts like “my client was serving cunt, your honor” or your friends finding your linkedin and seeing you self describe as a “data driven professional”
when she's a triple threat (mentally ill, bi, dyed hair)
Hey man I saw your ig story about how you’re having a good time and enjoying life. I was hoping you could delete it
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