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First Date Factory

@datefactory2

@365thingstododc new dating site:1) Enter your email 2) Check your inbox for our daily featured single 3) Go on the date (it's already paid for!)

Libraries are like Blockbuster Video Stores for Nerds - e.e. cummings


I actually just complained that my back was sore from lying by the pool yesterday. I'm officially worthless.


When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny.


in a starbucks which is in a target. i’m in a chain inside a chain. it’s like the russian dolls of chains


Had a difficult afternoon


Don't own a fur coat, but I am covered in cat hair.


If you ever meet anyone who works for Ticketmaster it is your moral obligation to punch them in the balls.


The worst frozen pizza tastes better than the freshest salad.


One day I'd like to jump out of a birthday cake and throw an axe at my arch enemy. Is that too much to ask?


If you lie very still in bed in a hooded sweatshirt under all the covers, all your sad feelings get pulled into the threads of the sheets.


Why are ghosts always from before the 1900s? People died last year too


It's true what they say: No news is Fox news.'


Gonna watch some TV then call it a night..


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