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What I lack in confidence I make up for in insecurities
Why was it such a big deal to tell people your middle name in middle school
1% milk is superior. Do I know what the other 99% is? No. But I don’t care. It’s better.
I’m working on believing in myself. How am I doing that today? By believing that I can finish a 10 count chicken mini meal
haha yeah that person in the mirror really be ticking me off all the time
have you ever looked at someone while they’re doing something small, like driving, or laughing or eating and just think I fucking hate you so much
me: 🎶 hey, hey! you, you! I don’t like your girlfriend. my boyfriend:... me:... him: listen....while the self deprecating jokes are getting more creative, I’m starting to get a little more worried. me: no way! no way! I think you need a new one 🎶
Whenever I greet my pets I try to be intentional about saying “it’s a pleasure, as always” so that they know that it is in fact a pleasure, as always to see them
if I EVER ask to talk with you on the phone, know that it is because you are on the highest tier of friendship because i am someone who will watch my phone ring then text hours later to see what it was about
why are white people so horny for tacos but so against immigration like ???
me during the day: *drinks approx. 2 oz of water* *has Cheetos for all three meals* me right before bed: *eats two gummy vitamins* “Ah yes. Absolute self-care.”
I love fall because cute sweaters help me hide my body in a fashionable way
I do my hair check Toss my nails Baby how you feelin’? *screams*
whoever named “overalls” must have been tired of coming up with names for clothes
It would kinda suck if we didn’t have feet and we just had really long toes that attached at the ankle
sorry for not posting as often. the interrupting cow joke is my best bit and I think -MOO- everyone’s heard it by now
I have incredible bitch potential the only thing holding me back is my social anxiety and fear of disappointing literally everyone
Oooh... the sun is setting earlier... there’s a little more rain... some of the leaves are already turning... You know what that means... It’s finally fa- time for seasonal depression relapses!!
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