Des the Cat
@desthecat
I'm lazy, curious, have no opposable thumbs and also dogs are idiots.
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Don't want to meet ya mama just want to meet ya cumma. That's my chat up line with the felines. I regularly fail.
Fell asleep in a bus luggage compartment and ended up in a grim place called 'Scotland' don't know who Scot is but he can't be a happy man.
Followed another cat today that smelled of sex for ages right across town. She eventually stopped and turned round, proper ugly. #daywasted
It turns out monkey puzzle trees need to be renamed. I suggest, monkey/pussy puzzle trees. #stuck
}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} that's the best way to store 17 seagulls. Anyway I'm off out on the tiles, daves at the door. #prowling
Been to the high street today. Saw a fat woman trip over whilst eating a pie, she was in a right state but her pie was perfect. #lardass
Fed up with this British summer weather. I'm a constant wet pussy.
Anyway I'm off out for a shag behind the bins at the shell garage. Sheila's always there this time of night. #prowling
This ginger is actually quite manky. He smells of 1996. Now that was a potent year.
New tom on the block, called ginger. Some say he was involved in London riots, he's got a scar on his cheek. He's a bit of a turd.
Think I'm off out again in a bit, I can see Dave over the road under a car. Dave's a pervert #prowling
Heavy night last night, woke up in a shoe box on top of a wardrobe this afternoon, covered in cream.
Had a long day today, been awake for at least 2 hours. Very tired, quick bit of catnip, shit on jims roses, then bed...
United States Trends
- 1. Iceland N/A
- 2. Speedway N/A
- 3. TACO N/A
- 4. Davos N/A
- 5. Fermin N/A
- 6. Keon N/A
- 7. Ubisoft N/A
- 8. The Art of the Deal N/A
- 9. Lewandowski N/A
- 10. Pedri N/A
- 11. Dani Olmo N/A
- 12. Jeanie N/A
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