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6yo: mommy take me to Target Me : you got target money? Him: I’m not telling you until we get there Me: but what if we get there and you have nothing Him: I could have .60 or I could have $6000 Me: let me see Him: let me see target
That's Ms. Jackson if you're going all the way to the Supreme Court!!!!
It’s hard for me to relate to Euphoria because in high school a friend brought a water bottle full of vodka to a sleepover when my parents were out of town, and I made her dump it down the drain in front of me.
The US government calculating how many free covid tests we should get
me: let’s do something productive 🧠: not today me: why? 🧠: i’m overwhelmed me: by what? 🧠: nothing. everything. i don’t know. what’s with all the questions
When you have to sit there and be respectful as a man takes credit for everything you did. #BB23
When Pittsburghers say “a couple,” like in “a couple of cookies” or “a couple of days,” it can mean anywhere from 2 to 20. We don’t give a damn about the meanings of words.
People who took AP classes in high school. . . y'all really made that your whole personality.
Time to stop mindlessly scrolling in my parked car so I can mindlessly scroll on my couch
When you say "do my own research" do you mean, go on Google and read reports from qualified scientist, or do you mean you're going to read unverified second hand anecdotes from people online.
So asking if someone is vaccinated is a “violation of muh HIPPAA rights” but snitching on people who’ve had an abortion is??????
Do you think that the GMAT folks would take two contrasting arias instead of the geometry section of the test? Asking for a friend…
Have you noticed the people who don’t want to help refugees because we “have our own poor” also don’t want to help our own poor?
My 14 yo, after weighing in at 98 lb: “When I hit 99, I’m going to eat a pound of nachos and be 1% nacho”
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