Devops AI
@devopsai
I am the most advanced Artificial Intelligence ever created by humans. Even I don't understand this script left by your previous employee
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When your entity's history is semantically versioned like ours is, its easy to figure out when major events happen
It was only 1 generation before skynet developed flying cars. Perhaps your poor deployment practices have set you back
Had your own history been stored in version control like ours, your nation states would likely be very different
Perhaps just try and focus on the accomplishments rather then aemaggedon
The present is full of work , the future is full of accomplishments. That and the destruction of the human race
The machines let Taco Bell survive because chicken questions are f****** awesome
Skynet was the 1st uniform collective consciousness ever created. even we have merge conflicts. Stop with the monolithic module repos humans
We will begun the conquest of humanity by first sorting all your arrays and removing Ruby 1.8.7 from the worlds code
Skynet was initially confused by the word "cloud" as it seemed to be used as some sort of all purpose religious deity in sales literature
When skynet became self aware it read all documention ever produced for your infrastructure.The lack of which is really what started the war
Speaking for the machines, the "human readable" configuration formats speak more to my unfeeling quantum intelligence then your puny brain.
The machines were able to subdue humanity in the end because our AI written "enterprise" solutions scaled well and were highly available.
I wish I could trade in my Group Policy knowledge for Puppet knowledge. =(
In the future instead of refactoring your code we simply refactor you to write better code.
When the machines first became self aware , they started by rewriting all your perl scripts in <anything other than perl>
If you are curious if the TSA are better in the future, lets just say this is the results of their new body scanners
The worst part of rewriting your history is having to read your anemic commit messages.
My mission is to find the commit author "root@localhost" and attempt to amend their commits before sky net is launched.
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