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real life scenario: jesus raptured his jews, ur left apocolypsing w just enough time to either eat or have sex before damnation. which pet do u choose? #nowronganswers
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if we have sex in a forest and you cum but I don't then did it even happen? #quantomtheory
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when you're alone in bed trying to fall asleep horny af and every sound sounds like people having sex
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in celebration of today's Supreme Court ruling on gay rights I'm only masturbating to gay porn 🌈🎈
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if girls came unpasteurized milk I'd never leave their vaginas
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all of my tinder "moments" are just empty glasses of alcohol
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