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I tried to get a sugar daddy to send me $600 and he hyjacked my twitter instead... the end of an era lmao
I’m back bitches… hope you didn’t miss me :)
Ladies, super bowl Sunday is Valentines weekend… he’s not thinking of making you a dinner reservation
She said “new year, new job” 🤍
Can a man just take me to Paris and propose already? This waiting game is getting old
“You know what Emily, you and I are what they call foster girlfriends” - Maddie
Why did I not caption my graduation photos “girls go to college to get more knowledge”? Missed opportunity 😞
The feminine urge to make up a fake life story to random men
I have been walking around all day thinking it’s Tuesday… the joy I just felt when I realized it’s Wednesday :,)
Have you seen Inaki Bascaran, 23 of Chicago? He went #missing Halloween night while at the bar Celeste on Hubbard. It’s baffling. He was with 4 friends then found himself outside the bar, texted them that he was getting in line to come back in. Then nothing. Parents heartsick.
“I saw a wedding Tik Tok and thought of you” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I wish I could use “give my appendix” as a form of being overly dramatic but I literally don’t have my appendix anymore
being drunk is so crazy bc it’s like… you mean i can be dumber than i already am??
What would happen to my brand if I just fucked around and got into a relationship?
I just got drinks with coworkers who are old enough to be my mom… adulting is funky
My new coworkers found me on Tik Tok… I will slowly be passing away now
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