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"She is negative Nancy and I am positive Patricia"... Sometimes I outdo myself with words #goodjob
"That guacamole music!... You know, like salsa"... Mmm no kev, I don't think so
In the words of Samantha, "Get over yourself, I'm a woman. We know better". @sjlear
Waking up, rolling out of bed too fast, tripping over a pile of books and launching down the hall... #GOODMORNING
Watching Napoleon dynamite 10 years later... This is the most bizarre and awesome screen play I've ever witnessed
So you're really happy with your boyfriend? That's nice. I'm really happy with wine, so I know how you feel.
Waking up to the sound of children playing softball is so not how I imagined this morning #notamused
When you get a back massage and make inappropriate noises... @scord36
Is it weird that if humans could marry inanimate objects I would marry my bed right here and now? #snugglelove
When your mother sends you back into the liquor store because the patron citronage is not as good as the Cointreau... #settledownnancy
@MockWalsh that looks like just a burst blood vessel. Getting too stressed out by those high school kiddos?
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