don’t tell women that they’re “born to have kids” and that one day they’ll accidentally get pregnant and have the child when they say they don’t want kids. it’s 2023, i’m made for more than just to be a baby-making factory.
you ever go 6 years without seeing some of your closest friends and then see them all together again at the same time? legit the best. i miss my people 🥺😭
just asked alexa if cats fart bc david didn’t believe they did and alexa just started making fart noises i am 💀💀💀💀💀
i think if my high school self was told about who i became and was today they would be very happy about it and pleasantly surprised. just gotta remember that sometimes
hi weddings are expensive and i’m stressed pls send help gotta champagne taste and beer budget and it’s not working out for me
trying to explain vanderpump rules to david is like trying to explain calculus. got me over here like
my ancestors would be so disappointed if they knew that they survived starving and hunting and gathering just for me to be distressed over THOUGHTS
trying to plan things when planning things physically overwhelms you is actually torture
david came to see me perform at WGI finals FIVE fucking years ago and we are ENGAGED now and i’m not crying YOURE crying
such a weird feeling driving through aubrey like “oh yeah they lived here, and these people lived there, and oh this person lived here.” seems like so long ago and also yesterday at the same time.
i knew tender is the flesh would be fucked up but holy shit. that was the most disturbing and shocking thing i’ve ever read
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