hammerbeard's profile picture. if found please return to nearest dumpster #bemis #pugdadbod

m@

@hammerbeard

if found please return to nearest dumpster #bemis #pugdadbod

Pinned

The Morgans

hammerbeard's tweet image. The Morgans

I'm sorry, America. I fucked up and didn't vote in 2020. But Cards Against Humanity paid me $0.33 to post this apology and make a voting plan, and now I'm a whole new person! Did you skip 2020? Get paid to apologize today at Apologize.lol #DonaldTrumpIsAHumanToilet


Williams just hit them with the WNBA logo steal @seattlestorm


Woke up to a new @USPS Informed Delivery email template in my inbox and I love it. Am I old now?


This aged poorly.

hammerbeard's tweet image. This aged poorly.

I like reading The Phantom Tollbooth every year or so, and this time I revisited the story via @rainnwilson reading it to me via @audible_com. What a great way to travel along with Milo!!


m@ reposted

FRANCINE TAKES IT TO THE HOUSE 😂 The #PuppyBowl is electric Tune in NOW on @AnimalPlanet


Yay!!!!

🗣️ FIRST TOUCHDOWN OF #PUPPYBOWL XX GOES TO TEAM FLUFF! Francine absolutely carrying the team on her back.



PSA: put your phone down


People who sleep with socks on are sociopaths


you failed me joseph

hammerbeard's tweet image. you failed me joseph

DODONGOOOOO

"Dinosaur Boss Battle" The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998)



a story of heartbreak: Dear @lushcosmetics, my Asteroid City shower gel arrived today. One bottle arrived fully alive, while the other left some goodness along the way. the end

hammerbeard's tweet image. a story of heartbreak:

Dear @lushcosmetics, my Asteroid City shower gel arrived today. One bottle arrived fully alive, while the other left some goodness along the way. 

the end

just hit ep 52 of @dungeonsanddads, there have been many great references up to this point (notably-metal gear solid) but @HeyBethMay’s “Mr, Hammond, I think we’re back in business!” has me laughing like a goon


my absolute favorite thing to do (for whatever reason) is fall asleep to ESPN whenever I stay in a hotel room. @MarriottBonvoy, ur breaking my heart rn

hammerbeard's tweet image. my absolute favorite thing to do (for whatever reason) is fall asleep to ESPN whenever I stay in a hotel room. @MarriottBonvoy, ur breaking my heart rn

thinking about all the @Neopets I left in the virtual abyss


just upgraded from my @nvidia 2060 Super to a 4060 Ti and I am ready to run through a wall #POWER


Tina Turner didn't want to deal with DeSantis.


I'm so excited

✨ Montée des Marches de ASTEROID CITY de WES ANDERSON - ✨Red Steps of ASTEROID CITY by WES ANDERSON #Cannes2023 #Competition #SélectionOfficielle #OfficialSelection

Festival_Cannes's tweet image. ✨ Montée des Marches de ASTEROID CITY de WES ANDERSON 
- 
✨Red Steps of ASTEROID CITY by WES ANDERSON

#Cannes2023 #Competition #SélectionOfficielle #OfficialSelection


watching the coronation rn and it’s super culty


kraken celebrating my 4 year journaling anniversary with a game seven win, nice


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