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i truly believed he would never leave me but he chose alcohol over us every time i had to make him leave but my ultimatum backfired
i needed him he gave me confidence being married to him made me feel accomplished and confident
and i don't know how to have my own social life outside of going back to drinking
i love her i do my best but I'm not happy so I'm afraid it effects me and her
she's at her dads rn and I keep wondering what they are doing and comparing myself and im scared that he's doing better than me
and im so bored!! i want to do family stuff but when it's just me and her it's fun but it's also painful to no longer have an adult to share
and I just start missing her dad so much and thinking if he was here he would know what to do and I would know what to do by proxy
but then when she's here i don't have any coping mechanisms and I think I get irritable bc I don't really know what to do with her
i watch too much tv and internet and practice escapism /"turn off" my brain when she's gone so I won't get too upset
it's so hard going back and forth I don't have the focus and I feel like I have split personality
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