heleftus's profile picture. hella codependant hella lame

@heleftus

hella codependant hella lame

i truly believed he would never leave me but he chose alcohol over us every time i had to make him leave but my ultimatum backfired


i needed him he gave me confidence being married to him made me feel accomplished and confident


it's just too much for me too handle alone


and i don't know how to have my own social life outside of going back to drinking


i just miss having a family


i mean she makes me happy but she's the only thing right now


i love her i do my best but I'm not happy so I'm afraid it effects me and her


bc I'm depressed


she's at her dads rn and I keep wondering what they are doing and comparing myself and im scared that he's doing better than me


her smile with


and im so bored!! i want to do family stuff but when it's just me and her it's fun but it's also painful to no longer have an adult to share


and I just start missing her dad so much and thinking if he was here he would know what to do and I would know what to do by proxy


or what i am supposed to do with her


but then when she's here i don't have any coping mechanisms and I think I get irritable bc I don't really know what to do with her


i watch too much tv and internet and practice escapism /"turn off" my brain when she's gone so I won't get too upset


it's so hard going back and forth I don't have the focus and I feel like I have split personality


i can't live like this I need my daughter with me every day


why did I make this account I'm laughing


489 days ago


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