hellosaysty's profile picture. A self-proclaimed expert.

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@hellosaysty

A self-proclaimed expert.

If it weren't for Apple's Reminders app, I would probably never remember to take multivitamins or text my dad back again.


Old Target Man: "And are we saving 5% with a Target Red Card today?" Me: "No thanks." Old Target Man: "Well golly are you sure, it--" Me:

hellosaysty's tweet image. Old Target Man: "And are we saving 5% with a Target Red Card today?"

Me: "No thanks."

Old Target Man: "Well golly are you sure, it--"

Me:

Going to Target and not impulse buying a new mug or bedside lamp is like visiting your parents and not bringing your laundry. Like why?


When the hotel Starbucks barista says "you come here a lot, don't you?" like it's a bad thing and now ur too self-conscious to ever go back


Absolutely would love to be the gay version of this lesbian couple wearing matching Seinfeld tshirts at IKEA ❤️


When u plant a bomb in ur exes car and watch him climb inside

hellosaysty's tweet image. When u plant a bomb in ur exes car and watch him climb inside
hellosaysty's tweet image. When u plant a bomb in ur exes car and watch him climb inside

The worst part of getting up at 4am for work is it tends to make you a lil cranky and the best part is that you're one day closer to dying


Ugh I hate it when my outfit only looks cute when I have my white iPhone 6S that cost $300 sticking out of my back pocket 🙄


0 hours of beard growth: 3rd grader 1-23 hours: pedophile 23-24 hours: normal 23 year-old 24+ hours: homeless Being a boy roxx


When a large man with neck tattoos plops by you on the plane & starts crackin jokes & showing pics of his daughter

hellosaysty's tweet image. When a large man with neck tattoos plops by you on the plane & starts crackin jokes & showing pics of his daughter

BMV Lady: I just need to see your ID Me: k I've also got my registration proof of insurance passport and photocopy of a 16th birthday card


Me: I'm sure there's a perfectly logical explanation for why he's taking so long to text back. Me: Imma be mad anyway just in case


My roommate left for the weekend with MY toothpaste so I had to dry brush my teeth and pop 3 mints before be--I mean woohoo Saturday night!


When you take 3,471 snap chats that're all ugly as hell then send one anyway & tell yourself bae's just gotta like you for you, ugly and all


When co-worker happy hour is at 6:00 so you show up at 6:20 and nobody is there yet at 6:30 🙃


@EricODaily you're the reason why every other race and ethnicity hates us 🙄


When a song just speaks to you & you sit back making all the faces you'd make if you starred in that music video❤️

hellosaysty's tweet image. When a song just speaks to you & you sit back making all the faces you'd make if you starred in that music video❤️

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