Gary Greenberg
@heresgary
Co-head writer: Jimmy Kimmel Live Author: Be Prepared (with Jeannie Hayden), The Pop-Up Book Of Phobias, Pop-Up Book of Nightmares. Large nose, googly eyes.
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Creeper watching explicit sex scene on plane, w/ kids all around. (Not 2 mention shoes without socks.) #fingerofshame
I took the "Which Member Of Your Own Family Are You?" quiz, and I got "Gary". Figures.
My twitter got hacked. Sorry for the "find a slutty girl in your area" links. I don't know any slutty girls in your area.
My daughter, describing her week at camp "Oh my god, I did water boarding almost every single day! It was so much fun!" #CampGuantanamo
To counteract The Tebow Effect, the Pats just signed @PopeBenedictXVI as their back-up kicker.
Did you know that Susan Boyle has a Christmas cd!?! I didn't either, until my in-laws played it 14 times last weekend.
Dear guys in the limo next to us blaring hardcore porn on a huge flat screen, thanks for teaching my kid all about anal beads.
Either Peter Dinklage is a little person, or they gave him a HUGE Emmy
Mel Gibson to play Jewish hero Judah Maccabee. This is proof that Jews do not run Hollywood.
When someone tells me they've battled The Big C, I always assume they mean Chewbacca.
Pitching a new reality show to Bravo: America's Next Top Bottom
I don’t eat twizzlers, because deep in my heart I suspect they are actually unicorn penises.
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