every time i ask for help i end up feeling like my usual inability/refusal to is justified
in a place with my mental health where I don't know if I forgot how bad it could get, or if it just hasn't ever been this bad before
in the depths not sure which way is up, swimming, swimming anyway, struggling for a surface that I know is fraught with wave and current and the risk of return to the depths
been awake for a few hours but too anxious to admit it to myself
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