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[wedding] “Anyone know why these two should not be joined in marriage?” Me: (from the back) THEY’RE DOING A CASH BAR!! *priest drops bible*
IDK WHAT NUMBER TILL TUESDAY BUT GOD HATES LIL PHAG HIT THE BILLBOARD CHARTS HOLY FUCK LMAO WE HAVE A GAY BILLBOARD RAP ALBUM 🍾🌈
prince really burned these bitches when he said “act ur age not ur shoe size”
last night I had a dream where I took off a mask in the mirror to reveal another mask and then took that one off to see my face but hideously deformed. then ricky gervais gave me his credit card and said to fix it...
I like the buuuuudtender oooh if u lookin for me i’m smoking buuuuud with herrrr uh huh okaaay
good guy 1: good morning beautiful good guy 2: ur my sunshine good guy 3: i’d do anything for u asshole piece of shit: wyd me: OMW
my destructive behavior can be rationalized by the fact that we are all dead in like 20 years anyway when the world implodes bc of fucking republicans
“You deleted my number?” First of all, I deleted the text thread that gave me clues to who you were. Your number was never saved.
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