incorrect criminal minds quotes
@incorrectcmbot
bot that posts incorrect criminal minds quotes from tumblr. lots of jemily and sometimes other random ships #cmtwt
Spencer: i've been feeling sad lately. Emily: *awkwardly raises arms for a hug* Spencer: what are you doing? Emily: i'm not sure... but i thought maybe we could try this? Spencer: no, i don't think so. Emily: *sigh of relief* thank God.
Tara: Reid can't be good at everything, i bet he's a bad kisser. Luke: no he's good at that too. Tara: what? Luke: what?
Spencer: embarrassed because i’m walking down the sidewalk and a rat is just like walking next to me and it looks like we’re together. Emily: did you consider that maybe the rat is embarrassed too?
Derek: *jumps through and shatters a window to get into a house* Hotch, casually stepping into the house: you know the door was unlocked?
Emily: how do i make a date really romantic? Penelope: be mysterious. Emily: got it. *later, while on a date with JJ* JJ: where are we going? Emily: none of your fucking business.
Spencer’s evil clone, pointing at Spencer: shoot him, HE’s the clone. Derek, aims at the evil clone: the real Reid would never pass up an opportunity to die.
Derek, drunk: we can't watch this movie, it says 18+ but there's only two of us. Emily, also drunk: you dumbass. Emily: we just need to invite more people.
Emily: *shoots gun into the air* Derek: this is why Hotch doesn’t FUCKING love you!
Hotch: we are gathered here today because someone– *glares at Emily's coffin* –couldn't stay alive.
Spencer: you let your cat sleep in your bed with you? Emily: Reid, i’d let him represent me in court.
Hotch: where's Emily? JJ: we just got out of the shower, she'll be down in a sec. Hotch: okay, you guys can– wait, did you just say “we”? JJ: …i said “SHE”.
JJ: at what age do we consider a milf to be a milf regardless of whether they are indeed a mother? Emily: and who are you considering when you ask this question? JJ: …you.
JJ: you’re overthinking this. Penelope: you don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Jayje. what if i’m underthinking?
JJ: let’s stop saying butthurt, we aren’t twelve anymore. Emily: you sound a little asstroubled. Derek: a little bootybothered if you ask me. Penelope: someone’s having a tushytantrum. Spencer, whispering: bum bummed.
Henry: you’re supposed to pour the milk first! Emily: no, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need! Henry: it tastes better with the milk first! Emily: it tastes the same! Henry: why are you wearing my mom’s pants? Emily: milk first it is.
Rossi: there’s a thin line between being a genius and a complete idiot. Rossi: Reid and Prentiss use that line as a jump rope.
Penelope: what’re you writing? Emily: the government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. i’m letting them know it’s private information. JJ, looking over Emily’s shoulder: this just says “fuck around and find out” in calligraphy.
Emily: Dr. Reid would never. how dare you, detective. Spencer: actually Emily, i did steal that car. Emily: Emily, throwing her hands in the air: what do you want him to do, not steal it when it's right there?
Spencer: i have a DNR Hotch: Reid, you're 28. Spencer: yeah, and i don't wanna go through that shit again.
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