infowargs
@infowargs
We're a group of professional journalists who are dedicated to shining the bright light of truth on America's werewolf problem.
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TODAY IN WEREWOLF HISTORY: On this day in 1993, nine-time @theGRAMMYs winners Green Jelly released “Three Little Pigs,” one of only two songs featuring a werewolf protagonist to win Song of the Year, the other being @suzyv’s “Luka.” #TIWH
#BREAKING: #NWA whistleblower @AliciaSilv unharmed while attending Wed night’s Pre-full Moon over Malibu Wererights Rally. Witnesses stunned, some attendees seen writhing in pain. In response, NWA CMO @AliciaFoxy savagely Foxy Dropped 3 interns in their applied sciences lab.
TODAY IN WEREWOLF HISTORY: On April 26, 1979, @PeterWolf_Woofa of the J. Geils Band is forced by his writing partner Seth Justman to alter the lyrics for the single “Love Stinks” away from the role urine plays in lupine mating rituals. #TIWH
BREAKING PROMOTIONAL REMINDER: Today's tweets brought to you by Silver Corral. Tired of the overly-high social and cultural expectations of Golden Corral? Don't know what that last question even means? Try Silver Corral. #tastetherainbow #waitthatsnotright #tastethelackofwerewolf
#BREAKING #ronnyjackson expected to provide DNA verification to senate armed services committee in order to verify werewolf status. @SenateGOP insists that non-werewolfs have no place in the administration and will not be brought up for consideration.
#BREAKING @LeoDiCaprio was originally cut from the production of the “The Wolf of Wall Street” for promoting lupocentric politics. The star returned to the film after a personal intervention from noted werewolf apologist @NajibRazak.
(2/2) establish a #cryptocurrency company in Gibraltar to avoid regulation; taxes; boring, New World vampires; and less-dire straits. Experts agree this is yet another example of art imitating life imitating art. #barkchain
(1/2) #BREAKING: WölfCoin surged to above $37,000 USD, this morning, on news that #JonathanTaylorThomas will reprise his role as werewolf heartthrob hacker Jacob Black in the new #Twilight saga sequel, “Maximum rOverdrive,” in which the werewolfs of Forks, WA join forces to
#WereNotAmused: @ShaniaTwain, Canadian hero and purveyor of catchy interview answers, is set to release the first single from her new album, “Hungry Like @scottwolf.” IBM lab manager and erstwhile music critic, @rossgrady, blasts the cut in a scathing breakroom newsletter.
(2/2) appeared in a cloud of confetti to lap blood from Silverman’s faux corpse and promote his new book, “Taking Charge: How wererat Mike Krzyzewski infiltrated the US Army, scuttled the war effort in Vietnam, and inadvertently created the restricted area arc.”
(1/2) Minnesota Timberwolfs power forward and trans-lupo pioneer, @SamFoxCom, responded to criticism of her poor performance, on Sunday, by decapitating @SarahKSilverman. Horrified witnesses realized it was part of an elaborate bit when Samantha’s father—NBA legend, @RickFox—
Congrats to @DukeCambridgeUK as he just welcomed a litter of new werepups! #royalbloodline #royalbaby #obviouslytheyareallwerewolfs
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