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3 plates down, aunt is all boozed up, my parlays lost, time to bring up charlie kirk
decided to take a nude photo. no makeup, no filter, no body, no organs. just pure energy.
telling my bitch wife that i love and appreciate her deeply
fuck my incredibly beautiful and worthwhile life
it starts raining and all of a sudden everyone forgets how to drive. fuck israel
I have not been able to stop thinking about this small French child at the aquarium that walked up next to us grabbing his mom's hand, pointed at a starfish, and said "Mama! Patrique!"
going to the fortune teller and u pick one of the tarot cards. its The Pervert. u ask if thats good and the fortune teller is like nope ive never seen that one before either
wait… if you’re circling back and i’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation??
sometimes you show up to work and they just torture you for hours
>invited to meet other lgbts >ask friend if theyre weird queers or mean gays >he doesnt understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what i mean by mean gays >he laughs and says ‘theyre nice emi’ >go >theyre mean gays
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