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Had some stunning cauliflower cheese and now I’m can’t start pumping 💨
“My son can’t be gay. He’s obsessed with women”. The women:
So bcuz I know this I can’t tell if the first thing I notice is shoes or if I notice the shoes then think about this so not sure if this is true or not
How is it I’ve applied for sooo many jobs recently and the only successful application I’ve had would be for a job in Toronto, Canada 😭😭 Guess I’m moving across the pond
When ever I have more then one packet of crisp in a sitting I sit and think to myself “that was such a @bonjourjess thing of me todo”
Why do I get so surprised everytime my pop socks pop off my feet like the clue isn’t already in the name🤬🤬
Applied for so many jobs on indeed and the one place I get an interview for is in Toronto, Canada 🤯
thinking about this exchange with my landlord in February
the ocean is technically soup bc it has salt veggies meat and it’s been heating up
When I say retweet this to save a life I literally MEAN retweet this to save a life
If you're in trouble dial 999. If you cannot speak, dial 55. We hear you. You are not alone.
My definitive shag ranking of the men of Desperate Housewives. A thread.
my body is NOT a temple it’s a STORAGE UNIT for my REGRETS
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