I could do a heluva lot better than Amber Heard’s lawyers and I’m waaay cheaper. #JusticeForJohnnyDepp #TreeFiddy #NOTthelochnessmonster
Hey @elonmusk, I have this promising start up if you’re interested and it’ll only cost you tree fiddy!
I like going into guitar centers and playing the banana splits theme until I’m physically removed from the building.
Getting kicked in the face by tiny feet while in bed. Living the Dad dream
I liked life better when the orange men were only in Syracuse and not Washington D.C.
This valentine's day take your significant other to someplace classy: waffle house
Donald, you keep saying the same thing, like some twisted version of Hodor.
Is it just me or does the line "well I'm a-runnin down the road tryin to loosen my load" scream social irresponsibility and perversion?
Time to get it into gear. Please read #StandingRock's statement on Trump's reckless & vindictive decision to poison the water of 17 mil ppl.
When you wake up and your whole body hurts from being sick. Boo yeah lol
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