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I just remembered that Eminem will be in the half-time show at the Super Bowl and I am so excited! 🥳🤪😁🤩
I was trying to talk to a high school student about college not being a waste of time. He said he hates history, but loved math. He asked me, “what’s 2+2?” I said 5. He walked away thinking he won. He clearly hates English, too.
Two ways to make the Internet 100% cooler: 1. Don't be a jerk to people you don't know. 2. Don't be a jerk to people you do know.
I’m going to give 5 people that retweet this tweet $10,000 each to celebrate Christmas! (Make sure you follow me so I can dm you if you win!). I will show proof!
It’s not Jordan vs. Bird. This is Mya vs. Jason. The first one to miss must watch the winner eat a delicious burger from North Shore Inn. Who ya got?! youtube.com/watch?v=q68WMk…
This is my first seriously controversial tweet. "Watermelon Sugar High" is the stupidest song of the summer. I tried and I don't get it. I looked it up and I don't like it. If you disagree, you are wrong.
To the people sitting next to us at the beach and smoking cigarettes- you are a**holes!
If Lin-Manuel was my history teacher, I wouldn't have hated that subject.
To all the a-holes doing fireworks now- My dog hates you. I hate you.
It's a Sunday, in May, (sigh) and I just want to put a baseball game on TV.
It's finals week. Email from student: There are 2 days left and my E-book stopped working. My response: Do you have a physical copy of the book? Email from student: Yes. #thisiscollege
I am also upset with Pence not wearing a mask, but he should be concerned with being in a meeting without his wife. Those white old men look they want to jump all over him.
Anyone else finding themselves wishing to do normally horrible things? Like, "Wait in the line at the DMV for 4 hours with other humans that don't shower? Yes!! Please!"
Does anyone else feel robbed by MTV bc they didn't play Joe Exotic music videos???
I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love
I'm not made to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn't need the universe to remind me. 😬
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