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Airports are one of the only places left that you can just fully sprint through and no one will give you a weird look.
Let’s see HBO have the balls to make a gritty tv series based on Wii Sports.
‘THE LAST OF US’ and ‘WII SPORTS’ have been added to the World Video Game Hall of Fame. (via: comicbook.com/gaming/news/la…)
If anybody ever visits downtown Dayton, my door is always open. Like it genuinely doesn’t lock properly and needs fixed.
I think I’d be less scared to run into a mugger in a parking garage, rather than those girls who record their singing Tik Toks in parking garages.
Did the dog write this?
Your significant other wanting to “soft launch” your relationship on social media is a crazy way to find out they think you’re ugly.
Holiday drinking game: Every time a family member asks if you’ve watched Yellowstone yet, you have to take a shot.
I’ve been talking to this really cute girl. She’s an artist. A sandwich artist, but, still.
I saw a GoFundMe raising money for surgery costs and the goal they were trying to reach was 1.5 Taylor Swift tickets.
“Well, kids, it’s time to BeReal. Your mother and I are separating.”
Damn. The Sun is posting videos on Twitter to remind us that it doesn’t fuck around.
The only real human connection that I’ve had this week is when I was eating in my car and locked eyes with someone else eating in their car. Hope he’s doing ok.
Tonight and tomorrow I’m headlining Wiley’s Comedy Club, and I’m bringing some very funny friends with me! It would mean the world if you could come out to a show. Yeah. You. You specifically. Tickets at wileyscomedy.com/events/56671 (The last pic is my first time at Wiley’s.)
There’s a new angry birds game where you sling shot them into therapy
I need a bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving, for someone who is also eating a full Taco Bell meal right now?”.
I went to a restaurant last night that had a bathroom attendant. Or maybe it didn’t. I’m still not 100% sure.
I’d be more interested in the Met Gala fashion if the theme was like, “Your Lowest Point During the Pandemic”.
I just bought a banana from the gas station and the cashier kinda looked at me like he didn’t know they sold them there.
I’ve been doing a lot of speed dating recently. Not on purpose, they usually just leave after about 60 seconds.
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