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Emily Kidd

@kiddecat9

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My dad bought me new tires. I guess he thinks 4 Goodyears makes up for 18 bad ones.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

I’ll be honest with you I’m not going to vote for a presidential candidate if I don’t think they could survive being on a trampoline


Emily Kidd 已轉發

I just know he was told not to drop that dogs and cats hoopla


Emily Kidd 已轉發

watching the debate as a form of self harm


*putting on postal uniform* I know a dog HATE to see me coming.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Putting a baby in a freezer would kill it, but freezing embryos keeps them alive. That's why an embryo isn't a baby. Hope that helps if you're very stupid <3


Emily Kidd 已轉發

The unfortunate trade off for modern women.. you have to get 9 abortions in order to find denim shorts that fit really good

This picture makes me so sad...

alphafox's tweet image. This picture makes me so sad...


Emily Kidd 已轉發

My evangelical cousin thinks a group of crows is called an abortion


Emily Kidd 已轉發

showing a photo of a healthy guy to my doctor like i’d show the barber a picture of a haircut


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Find a decent bagel. Try that in a small town


Pretending this warm cheese + room temp chip is a cold nacho to make it less disgusting. Follow for more mindset shifts.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

What a fun way to phrase this

#NailedIt emcee Nicole Byer is now the most-nominated Black woman for outstanding host with four nods. However, she has yet to convert any of these into wins. variety.com/2023/tv/awards… via @Variety @nicolebyer

ByClaytonDavis's tweet image. #NailedIt emcee Nicole Byer is now the most-nominated Black woman for outstanding host with four nods. However, she has yet to convert any of these into wins.
 variety.com/2023/tv/awards… via @Variety @nicolebyer


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Re: Jonah Hill’s gross texts: my therapist honestly changed my life when he stopped me from saying someone was “violating my boundaries” and explained that boundaries are values you impose on yourself and your own behavior, not rules you can enforce on other people.


“Stay sitting in a chair and leave me alone,” a memoir, by Cari Kidd (my mom).


The bra now comes off in the parking lot after work.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

The Titanic is undefeated in killing the wealthy at sea.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Mind you, it took 73 years just to find the actual Titanic


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Mass graves are depressing as hell. Having roommates even when you’re dead?!


Emily Kidd 已轉發

Love hearing why you cant come to my shows. Really always enjoy hearing it.


Emily Kidd 已轉發

So now the accounts who have a blue check mark on here are the same people who bought a class ring


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