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I can't believe that viruses and bacteria would just invade my body without a permission. That makes me sick.
Working at a Hospital is the worst cause you can't call in sick. You: "Yeah, I can't come in today, I'm sick." Boss: "Come on in, we'll check you out."
Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
My best mates and I played a game of hiding and seek. It went on for hours... Well, good friends are hard to find.
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
If a short psychic broke out of jail, then you'd have a small medium at large.
How iFixit Became the World's Best iPhone Teardown Team video.vice.com/en_us/video/mo… via @VICE_video
Here’s the Reason Why You Shouldn’t Type "Amen" on a Facebook Post brightside.me/wonder-curiosi… via @bright_side_me
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
When you break the law, you pay fines, but when you don't - you pay taxes.
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