Funny Tweets
@laughIntense
Laughing for 10 minutes is good for your abs and muscles, follow me for an intense workout!
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My wife does bird imitations. She always watches me like hawk.
You should always be yourself. Unless you discover you're an asshole, son.
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but you're on Twitter instead.
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
Don't you hate when people call your name 20 times..... Then end up saying "NEVERMIND"? Nah, you gon tell me SOMETHING.
Yelling random numbers when someones counting. You are truly cruel!
Less love, more sex, no calls, just texts, new boo, no ex, more sleep, no stress.
I said to a fat girl today, You're a big girl! She replied, Tell me something I don't know. I said, Salad tastes good.
Hoes make niggas (cum) , bad bitches make niggas (come out they pockets) & a REAL WOMAN makes a nigga come HOME
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it is called golf.
But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won.
First Tab: Twitter ... Second Tab: Facebook ... Third Tab: YouTube.
I need a punctuation mark that is halfway between a period and an exclamation point so I can answer texts without sounding bored or insane.
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