laughs_library's profile picture. Library humor curated by Roz Warren, author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES

Library Laughs

@laughs_library

Library humor curated by Roz Warren, author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES

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Library Laughs 已轉發

Everyone just go vote as early as possible and let’s get this nightmare over with: votesaveamerica.com


Library Laughs 已轉發

Can we stop referring to November 3rd as Election Day or the day when polls open? Polls are open all over the country. Millions have already voted by mail. November 3rd should be referred to as the final day of voting. This year is different & our language should reflect it


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The current practice at our library is to limit the number of people in the building without counting them, and to limit the amount of time people can spend here without timing them. Don't know how we're doing at combating the virus but we're beating the heck out of formal logic.


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one of my ex’s previous FLINGS watched my instagram story everyday for over 6 months, when i blocked her she used her sisters account, then her friends, then study account, and then his neighbours who she was also friends with


Library Laughs 已轉發

Today I'm going to take a little break from hounding library patrons about wearing their masks properly and instead I'll hound them about whether they've registered to vote.


Library Laughs 已轉發

I dreamed a dream they let me moderate the presidential debate. And you were there, @PattiLuPone#IfDonaldGotFired 🎶


Library Laughs 已轉發

To generate your 2020 sick leave request, just plug in your name, a diagnosis picked randomly from the DSM, and a 2020 headline. For example: Amber can't come to work today; she has insomnia because murder hornets.


Library Laughs 已轉發

Susie Welty, of UC-San Francisco, who's working with contact tracers, to @noelking on the president: "He was a very prolific super spreader. He was all over the country" in closed rooms, and "probably had a very high viral load" at a NJ fundraiser Thursday. @MorningEdition @NPR


Library Laughs 已轉發

We librarians like to exaggerate, but of course not every single book in the collection is by James Patterson. A few are books about the Trump administration.


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We've removed furniture, minimized seating, eliminated displays, stopped getting newspapers, all to make the prospect of lingering in the library building as uninviting as possible. We stopped just short of installing those plastic bird spikes that repel pigeons.


Library Laughs 已轉發

THE LIBRARY HAS REOPENED! Can I come inside? YES! And check things out? YES! And use the copier? YES! And drop my kids off there for hours? YOU WEREN'T REALLY SUPPOSED TO DO THAT BEFORE! And floss my teeth at a computer? NEVER MIND THE LIBRARY'S CLOSING AGAIN! But you said BYE!


Library Laughs 已轉發

My parents still talk about the day the incendiary device exploded in a glittery shower of Vistafoil rolls and novelty bookmarks. That's when they found out they were having a librarian.


Library Laughs 已轉發

LIBRARIAN: I exchange objects with a parade of strangers who also want me to touch their keyboard or handle their phone. TEACHER: I spend the day in a building crammed with children whose hobbies include nose-picking and ignoring personal space. LIBRARIAN: You win. TEACHER: Yay


Library Laughs 已轉發

The library patron maneuvered around to the side of the barrier between us and said "I'm sorry, I can't talk through plexiglass." I take her word for it while simultaneously resolving to Google later and find out how doctors test for that condition.


United States 趨勢

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