incredible! I just realized that if I live to ~80 then I can just chalk the trauma of the past year up to a quarter life crisis!!!!!! catch me thriving next year y'all!!!!
I love @Cinnabon and Cinnabon loves me now that they follow me back 🥰
My favorite part of listening to @Girls_GottaEat in public in headphones is definitely looking like an absolute psychopath as I cackle out loud at something no one else is hearing
I just realized that I probably won't get to marry @Zendaya in my lifetime and now I'm crying happy monday to all
I wish we had Hannah Montana transition music in our real lives.
Constantly wondering how Victoria Justice was the lead in Victorious???? When LIZ GILLIES!!!!! and ARIANA GRANDE!!!! Were SUPPORTING CHARACTERS?!?!?!
my dog when she’s getting in my way but doesn’t know it
Hopping back on Twitter rn exclusively to say that @pizzahut's garlic knot crust pizza is something ELSE 10/10 would definitely recommend this shit is BANGIN
tell me why I'm going to LA for 6 days yet I've packed 5 pairs of shoes and 14 different outfits as if I'll change my persona altogether every 8 hours
Getting real tired of people saying water doesn't have a taste when it dam well does bc water ISN'T all the same & the level of minerals in it makes the flavor even if it's not immediately identifiable to u!!!!!!!
I've been stressing for 3 weeks over what I'll wear to work in my Corporate America™️ job, but I just remembered that I got a job offer after an onsite in which I accidentally wore a sports bra and my shirt was unbuttoned in the back and now I'm CURED
A limited batch has landed – but for 100K retweets we’ll bring back the Double Pop fun for everyone. Who’s in? RT this tweet & we’ll alert you on 7/23 with the results. #BringBackTheDouble
I forgot to arm my apartment security system last night, and this morning I woke up to a giant spider in my bathroom. Coincidence? I think NOT
I have like 4 things to do but my dog begged me to lay in bed with him and now he's asleep on me so I now will be doing this exclusively and nothing else for the rest of the day
People talk about caterpillars becoming a butterflies as though they just go into a cocoon, slap on wings, and are good to go. Caterpillars have to dissolve into a disgusting pile of goo to become butterflies. So if you’re a mess wrapped up in blankets right now, keep going.
How Do I Explain Air Mattresses To My Dog So He Stops Attacking It: A Memoir
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