maddrant
@maddrant
I just get fed up with dumb sometimes and I’m gonna say something about it.
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Love/hate. Happy/sad. Vengeance/forgiveness. Ups/Downs. Success/failure. Anger/contentment. The Bible covers all of these and does it well. But where’s the funny? I mean, I do love the Bible, but NOTHING FUNNY HAPPENED?! EVER? C’mon, Bible. #bible
Anyone else legit low key sad at the last episode of #season4 #RickAndMorty ? That last song makes you regret every person you’ve accidentally wronged #crushed @RyanElderMusic
If I ate more salads then, I wouldn’t have to eat so many salads now. #dietssuck
Just found an @amazon dash button that I want to throw in the trash, but I’m afraid of ordering 87 more cases of paper towels as it makes it’s way to the dump. #dontpressthatbutton
Just watched AND finished #uncutgems . I feel like I earned a medal. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
So...apparently girls don’t like you solving their problems. I mean, I’ve heard it before, but...why not? They’re problems. Fix them.
I can’t be the only one who’s just a little disappointed about #KimJongUn
Is it weird that I don’t think it’s weird that my daughter just said that a purge would be both exciting and terrifying? #justthinkingoutloud
Anyone else completely unapologetic about loving bad movies? Like, I’m watching Battle:Los Angeles and I love it. #tuesdayvibes #workingfromhome #badmoviesarethebestmovies
Why does going to the grocery store now feel like the old west and I’m taking a trip into town for supplies. #coronalife
I’m going to walk into traffic. Oh wait. No one’s driving. #coronavirus
How in one generation of iPhone has airdrop gone from amazing to suxballz
To my 12 followers. I learned something today. Coming back from my first trip to Italy I brought back food. Cured meat. Vacuum sealed. I followed the rules and declared it. It got taken to be burned. The lesson? Lie. The government taught me to lie about my stuff for next time.
The temperature dropped so quickly here this morning I can just see all the moms taken off guard running back in to the house to put on their Fall starter kit.
Try having explosive diarrhea as quietly as possible. It’s a real battle royale with muscle control.
Lady getting off the elevator as I was getting on either said “sieg heil” or “hey hi”. I’m really not sure which. We’ve never met so I don’t know her political leanings. Also I don’t like how close those sound if you don’t annunciate.
People who’ve waited tables: “Everyone should wait tables at least once so they can appreciate how hard it is.” Me: “Mmmmmm...Why don’t you just tell us.”
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