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You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I’ll rise. -Maya Angelou
Switched to a button fly cause I love to spend an extra 20 or 30 seconds in a public bathroom
Don't call it a bottomless cup of coffee a then kick me out for wearing only a shirt.
My coworker got a full time gig as a fancy stylist and I asked him to rate my outfit. Him: no Me: come on, 1 to 10. I can take it. Him: I'm not gonna rate your clothes, dude. Me: what, for same reason Mike Tyson wouldn't fight a baby? Him: ...yes.
*in jawbreaker voice*: I did the laundry Shoulda been doin' you
A&W Canada suffers more, taste-wise, from switching to real cheese than fake meat
My buds snuck me into Eat Vancouver, how many times can I visit the acorn-fed iberico ham guy in 15 minutes without arousing suspicion?
I would bet on fights but no one gives odds on each fighter just doing their best and having a great time
Thinkin' about getting a new finger installed so I can rock some SWILL PISS knuckle tattoos
My mom has a podcast but you can only hear it if you have the password to my voicemail
Managed to make it 10 months in this province without hearing Barrett's Privateers, then Canada day happened.
The playlist in this airport bar just went from Beyoncé to Jack Johnson and I feel utterly betrayed
Too Fat For My Coolest T-shirts -- The Riley Maggs in 2018 story
Jordan Peterson seems like he would justify not going down on women because Agamemnon never did it in The Iliad.
law? heh, I've studied my fair share. I trust you're familiar with the landmark case of growers v. showers?
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